Daniel Beck - Life in LA

And I still question why it happened.....

A month ago my father was found face down and unconscious in the street in front of his house in Southern California. A neighbor called 911 as soon as she drove up and found him. He was rushed unconscious to the hospital. I got the frantic call from my sister about 40 minutes after it happened. My mother could not be reached as her phone was off. My father was listed as a John Doe upon arrival at the nearest hospital. I called a few close family and friends and we started a prayer chain. I specifically prayed for heavens angels to protect him from all harm. I did not know this at the time but my father became conscious shortly thereafter. I drove down in LA traffic letting my mind wonder what and why. It is the part of not knowing that always gets me the hardest. I would rather know something factual than to leave questions. It is the questions that eat me up inside, especially when unanswered. I questioned what happened and why it happened.....

After showing up at the wrong hospital looking for a John Doe fitting the description of my father, I found the correct hospital along with my mother who had gotten her phone messages. My father had come too after being unconscious for over an hour. He had a few small little bumps and bruises along with a nice bite mark on his tongue. He had no recollection of what happened. He had no side effects of a TIA, stroke or seizure. Later an MRI and a CAT scan showed absolutely nothing. He was released the following morning without any medical proof of what had knocked him down. I feel that prayer and angels protected him through all of this. Why?

It happened in front of the house in the street, not inside the house, or behind the house. If that had happened, my mother would not have found him for many hours. He may have remained unconscious, fallen down the stairs or passed away.  If it had happened 30 minutes earlier in the day, my father would have been driving home behind the wheel of his big work truck. ,He could have caused an auto accident possibly hurting or killing someone else as well as himself. Instead he was found and treated immediately in the street in front of where he lives. That is a miracle. There has been no long term or short term damage that they can find, say the doctors. That is another miracle. We still don't know what caused this. That is the unanswered question, but he has returned to work and to life and to our family. I question why it happened......

A few weeks ago, the fiance of an old friend passed away in a motorcycle accident. His fiance posted warnings about always wearing a helmet in the days before his accident. This accident was tragic and sudden and my heart goes out to his beloved fiance as well as to all his family and friends, that they may be comforted in this time of loss. I reflected on my own fathers recent close call while I question why it happened......especially to him.

Last week, one of our old friends and best friend to one of our closest friend's, she was raped. She is one of the brightest people I know. She is always positive, she is a healer and full of light. It is so tragic to see that light dimmed by the events that took place last Friday night. She is pressing charges and we all hope that this guy goes away for a long time. We also pray she will be comforted during this time and find an inner strength to pull her through this fire. I question why it happened........especially to her.

Several months ago, a former employer and friend of mine was murdered at his place of work. I knew the person who did it. A fire was set to cover up this crime, but the murderer was caught immediately. My friend was the type of person who would loan you money if you needed it. Pay him back when you can or just take it as a gift. He would help you out if you needed it. He came across in a gruff way, but he had such a huge and giving heart. He would fire employees then hire them back even if they deserved to be fired again and again. He was a great man and I'm proud to have known him and been a friend. I went to his memorial service and found a room filled with a hundred people who all could say how much he had helped them or influenced their lives for the better. Husbands found their wives through him, people found much needed jobs through him, his parties, his functions and his work. Not one person had one bad thing to say about the man. He touched so many people in such positive ways during his life. He is gone and he will be missed. His murderer will be on trial and we all pray justice is served.... I question why it happened......especially to him.

This has been a rough year. My son was born, that is the biggest blessing. I was diagnosed with Lupus. My wife had a difficult pregnancy. I could name a number of other things but I won't. Money is tight and bills are coming in but we have been provided for and right now we have what we need. I try to live a positive life. I try not to question why bad things happen to good people. I try to accept difficult situations as challenges and obstacles to overcome. I try to find the good and the joy in life and in the people who surround us in life. We have some of the best friends who have helped us in times of need. We are grateful for all of them. But as the year moves on I realize that this has been one of the most difficult years I have ever had in my own personal life, I look at my beautiful son sleeping right now and catch myself still wondering why it all happened this way. To those we loved and lost, to those we loved who survived and to those we loved who are suffering their own losses and personal trials right now as I type this out..... our prayers are with you all.

& I still question why it happened...........

Mourning Anniversaries - Happy Anniversary, I love you

What can we say, in times of loss and mourning, as the anniversaries of loved ones peek over the horizon of the month and begin to daily remind us of those individuals we loved so much in life...... before life took them away. As these anniversaries come closer and closer with each flip of the calendars page, we are reminded more and more of who they were and how much they really meant to us. Brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, close friends and relatives..... each one is remembered in a different light, which is so much stronger once their light has dimmed and begun to fade.

We find ourselves saying, "it was one year ago today that my brother passed away", or "has it really been three years since mom passed on?" It places time into perspective. Our time seems to quicken as the list of those we mourn grows longer and longer. It also becomes more painful. Sometimes it is something to be avoided and denied until it overflows on the morning you wake up, look at the clock and like a tidal wave of sorrow it comes...... "you died today"

The rest of that day is spent in so many different ways. You think of the others whom you have not lost to death, or the great beyond, or the afterlife. You wonder when their time will come. And then memories flood your mind, your heart and your soul. You remember the good times, the bad times, the emotional times and the sorrowful times that you spent with the departed. You remember their quirks and laugh out loud, you remember tears and pain, and cry spontaneously through those past burdens you both shared. You dig out pictures and time finally stands still for awhile as you look at the past, frozen, memories fixed, and you are filled with the knowledge that those moments will never happen again. They are gone. Time has gone as well.

So it comes down to locking yourself away and accepting the loss and pain while praying for some comfort to come. Others visit headstones and find themselves talking to cold stone markers as if the beloved departed was sitting down in front of them, eye to eye, for a private conversation of love, loss and emotions. Others find themselves cramming so many distractions in their day that they hope it ends after midnight Greenwich Standard Time.

They are still gone, yet for some there is a comfort, a calm and a peace that enters their soul, an acceptance that Love knows no bounds, whether in the heavens or here on this earth, and that the love you both shared, lives eternal.........

To you, you are the lucky ones. The rest will still mourn, blame, cry, deny or accept. You find a comfortable embrace in the sorrow, as if they were still holding you and telling you it is ok. After all , this life we live on earth is just a small part of what really exists in this universe. Our human lives are temporary, our souls are eternal......as is love.....

So don't hold back your love for them. Let go of the sorrow and loss and know we are not meant to understand why those whom we've loved the most, are the ones whom we have lost. And for those who are still able to have the ones you love the most in your life, living, breathing and celebrating life, love them with all the love you have every day that you have breath.

For life is a gift given to mortals, love is a gift given to all. Love will still be there as a bond and embrace in what lies beyond. Celebrate life as you have loved it and lived it. For one day, you will see unconditional love pull you through and you will be the one embracing those who have lost you and those who loved you the most. It is the other side of the big picture, in times of loss and mourning, let true love heal and fill the gaps pain leaves behind and create something beautiful that we can embrace eternally, no matter what side of the fence of life we are on.

Happy anniversary, I love you........

author: Daniel Beck

Ikea Coma part two - the return

I returned to Ikea for the other Billy bookshelf color black/brown. This was a much nicer and quicker experience than the day before. There was no way I was returning to the Ikea of the day before yesterday. Today I had a game plan intact.

I parked in the 15 minute zone for loading of items purchased. I waved yesterdays receipt at the little security guard in the parking lot and pulled up to the bumper, baby, right in front of the main exit doors. My rear seat was still in a reclined and folded position, ready for another bookshelf to be shoved down its gullet. I clicked my auto alarm and entered through the exit doors. Go ME!

I surveyed the 15 rows of people attempting to pay and exit Ikea. I was going upstream, no doubt about it.. The signs said "exit only". I needed to cross this border quickly and efficiently as the "Self help and meditation self service" section of the store was in my sight and less than 40 Ikea yards away, in a straight line, like so close you could smell the pressed laminates waiting on Isle # 1, section 27, 28 and 30. Sniffffff. ahhhhhhh! Sniff and exhale...

An employee passed me moving against traffic, pushing a shopping cart and loading cart back to the self service area. Quick thinking prompted me to grab the nearest empty cart, (I swear it was empty before I took out the ladies purse and 12 boxes of tealights available for $3.99 a hundred, seriously! What kind of Ikea shopper do you think I am? SECURITY! ), then grabbed the really empty shopping cart next to it and pushed forward following the last cart of the Ikea employee all the way through the pay stalls and into the Self help and meditation self service section of the store. The employee in front of me looked back, questioning what I was attempting to do. Maybe it was security asking him to check out the idiot following him, the one who almost stole a ladies purse and tealights  "I needed a cart for something" I stammered back. He yelled a code word in his walkie talkie and left me to my shopping. I'm sure they see a lot of me's in their day. 

30 seconds later, I was loading a Billy Bookshelf onto this cart and wheeling it down the isle back towards checkout. I hung to the left and found one isle with one person in front of me. The lady only had one item to purchase. Go Us! The clerk scanned my Billy bookshelf, I pulled out the prepaid Visa gift card I had so conveniently forgot to use the day before , and, within 5 minutes of entering Ikea, I was leaving it, mission accomplished. 

Bookshelf shoved to curb, my trunk opened and inside went the bookshelf. I slammed my trunk shut and in record fashion, hopped in, cranked the key and sped out of the Ikea parking lot in record time. I swear it was so quick that one lady thought I stole something. She was waiting for her husband to exit and load her SUV. She didn't move the entire 5 minutes from where she was. I entered, bought a bookshelf, paid for it, loaded it and left before her Ikea special Meatball platter had cooled down long enough for her to eat it. 

I am proud of what I accomplished. The game plan worked and I skipped the painful Ikea Coma from the day before. May this article of success help any and all of you wishing to purchase anything from Ikea in the future. Thank you all and have a great day!

I lost myself in Ikea today, if you find me, please return me to.....my pre-Ikea-coma self

The premise was simple. Me, Ikea, one bookshelf named Billy. 30 minutes top. I parked in the parking structure and set my stop watch. . 3. . 2 . . 1. . GO!

I entered the maze, up the escalators and into Ikea hell. Oh, yes. I've been here before. You enter for one thing and get sucked into the never ending void of stuff you may need but don't want. There are arrows everywhere that point you where you could go if you wanted to - office , bedroom - kitchen - bathroom - rec room - all never ending rooms of clean, white, sanitized yet touched by every other person who set foot in this store before you.

I wonder what it would be like to be a germaphobic locked in Ikea for the night. What torment must be suffered at the hands of the weak. But I was strong. All I needed was one Billy bookshelf. I had the item number , I knew the price and the product code. I just needed to walk from A to B and get it........

Ikea is nothing more than a rat maze of stuff. When you follow directions correctly, you can never leave. I glazed over at the ten minute mark. I had not blinked for at least seven. It all looked the same yet all was a bit different. I tried making five lefts instead of following the pattern of traffic to the right. I grabbed onto the arm of a young girl, asian with yellow flip flops, and begged for her escort to the Bookshelf section. "Haha" she screamed at me , "you don't need book section, you need self service warehouse, you write down item number, you pick up with big cart, you go, you pay and you leave." I glanced down in defeat realizing I had this info on me already. I did not need an escort to the land of oohing, ahhing and measuring, again...... I needed the exit. She, little asian grrrl, grabbed my hand and like an anime escort, pulled me through side isles and over carts, through an emergency exit that unloaded me at the entrance to the Self help meditation and self service warehouse. As I vomited in the nearest trash can (pink and blue with flowers on it as well as an accompanying toilet brush cleaner and plunger set for an additional $3.99) , she said "your on your own, sailor! Good luck!" and disappeared back into Ikea nothingness. 

I looked up and saw where I was, Isle #1, item 27, 28 and 30. To my left was a shopping platform. In front of me was a packaged Billy bookshelf, color = brown/black. Now isn't that a crappy color. Not brown enough to be poo, not black enough to be black, just a smear in the middle of both because it was $10 more to be 100% pure brown or black. I grabbed a Billy bookshelf box, tossed it on the cart and , like a mule pulling a cart, trudged to the check out. 300 other people were in line ahead of me. 

A lady with at least 54 separate items let me cut in front of her ("you look like this store got the best of you, cut in front, my niece had to get another Igio table cloth 'cus the other one had a run in it") . I grimaced a glazed smile and squeaked out the first part of a thanks. I was so glazed I forgot to use the $50 dollar gift card in my pocket when prompted to finally pay. I limped outside, sun blinding me and heralded the valet service for people to watch your stuff while you go get your car parked in one of the neighboring lots before backing up to the cub of chaos where 64% of all large box purchasers will realize that what they bought will NOT fit in the trunk or the body of their car without taking it all out of the box and cramming it in like illegal aliens at the border. 

My box fit from the trunk, in through the back seat folded down and exiting out the passenger side window WITH the seat belt securing it safely in place. Go me! I was almost home before I realized I had left the glaze of Ikea behind me. It was my wife's phone call message that black/brown was the correct color she wanted that brought me out of my Ikeacoma (Yes, this is a valid word for scrabble now, because I made it so,,, Ikeacoma, Ikeacoma, Ikeacoma..... my new mantra.........)

Now, bookshelf up and installed correctly, my wife has mentioned that, since we still have a $50 dollar giftcard, I can go back tomorrow and get another Billy bookshelf. It will be part of a system.......

I lost myself in Ikea today, I lost an hour and a half of my time as well. If you find me there tomorrow, please return me to myself as quickly as possible, my pre-Ikea coma self! It would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Last night we found out that our back yard is a Mecca for skunks! Go us!

 I went to sleep last night early.  At 1:30 AM, our wonder mutt, Bosley decided he needed to go out to the back yard to piddle.  My highly pregnant, extremely groggy wife got up to let him out.  We had heard tale of various woodland creatures in our yard, but so far had only encountered a coyote, which was enough for us to decide to proceed with caution in the nighttime piddling hours.  

So, here's how the chain of events went down.  My wife picks up the dog, holds him in her arms, opens the back door and takes a look around.  Again, she is incredibly groggy, and not wearing her glasses, yet still deems it all clear for the puppy dog to venture into the yard.  Immediately after she puts him down, he takes off, running and barking at something, of course, at the far end of the yard.  As she tries to focus, she sees what can possibly be a nymph rising up, standing with it's arms folded and staring at them.  Again, she is still incredibly sleepy because this now made sense.  But, something deep inside her tells her, no, this is not a nymph, not a garden gnome, but something to be highly concerned about (although the thought of some enchanted woodland creature prancing around our back yard did give her the weebs)...  What ended up portraying itself as something standing was in fact, the skunk's tail... Ready to aim and fire!  

 

She tries to grab the dog, only to have him panic when he realizes that something touches him and he takes off, directly toward the skunk.  She is now running barefoot through the backyard, calling for the dog to no avail.  Finally after what feels like an eternity, so grabs the dog, turns to go into the house, only to now feel like the skunk is in hot pursuit.  She runs back into the house, successfully closing the door, surviving skunk free.  Now the questions start.  What would we have done if they had both been skunked?  I can't put them down, but the smell of skunk coming from my wife and my dog might have been too much to handle.  So, we look it up online.  We're heading out soon to get hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and a jar to mix it all in, in case we have another close call.  Oh yeah... and a flashlight. Go us!

 

PS. We do live in a major metropolitan area, with skunks, raccoons, possums and coyotes... and apparently enchanted woodland creatures, like nymphs, garden gnomes and fairies.. Go Us. 

Soon to come, the skunk cam, critter cam, backyard cam so you can see what may interact with the dog, ma'm.

Flashback - Feb 24, 2010 - Downtown LA - Body on the sidewalk

 

Back in February I was in downtown LA leaving a set. It was in a bad location known for homeless, drug and gang problems. I pulled out of crew parking and saw what appeared to be a homeless man passed out on the sidewalk. The glimpse was brief and I instantly questioned what I saw.

So I flipped around the block and came back to watch a pedestrian walk a wide berth down the sidewalk past the prone body lying face-down. She ignored him completely, as if he were just a piece of trash in the street. My first urge was to call 911. My second urge was to leave my double parked vehicle and attend to this man, see what kind of aid he needed. My third urge was to take a picture as my Nikon was next to me on the seat.

The fine question was easy, was he alive, drunk, passed out, knocked out, stabbed, shot or was he perhaps deceased? The only other option in my mind as I surveyed the scene was if this was part of an undercover police sting, hidden camera's to catch someone rifling through his pockets and taking some cash, change or other valuable.

My gut told me he had nothing on him but the clothes on his back and the empty bottle in a plastic bag, don't you dare leave your car double parked as it may not be there for long, This was not a good samaritan opportunity, it was a really bad set up for some thing worse....

I then realized that there were now more people from the neighborhood starring at me then at the man face down on the curb. I was the odd man out. I saw a cop slowly drive across the intersection in front of me and assumed the police have already been called on this one. Time to detach myself from the situation. So I snapped the picture and left. I felt guilt all the way home where it left me alone with nothing but film and a fuzzy image taken in a dirty rearview mirror. There were no answers, no conclusions.

This is not the first time I have snapped the image of a possible deceased individual. Back East many, many, many years ago I witnessed the end of a vehicle fire with the deceased passenger visible to every driver stuck on the tollway. It was disturbing and I still wonder why I grabbed my camera and snapped that image in my rearview mirror once I had passed the scene. That was my instinct. As a photographer, I am documenting real life situations that often provoke emotions from those who witness them. I have been doing this since I was 15 years old. As a human, I am documenting so much more than that. This is real life. I have survived so much in my own life....

Life is precious, Death is unyielding. Be grateful for all you have, be thankful for every breath and always remember this: Life is simple. We make it difficult. Needs are simple, a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, something to eat and something to drink. Love is optional as a need to survive. As you move forward in life, don't forget to watch what you've passed by in your rear view mirror. . . 

Flashback - San Pedro Sessions - part 02

Pics taken in San Pedro summer 2010

 

 

 

 
 
 
 

So my wife is only sleeping an hour at a time during the night.....

 I was just informed by my wife that, due to the nature of the baby bouncing on her bladder every hour (Smoosh), and my snoring every other hour, (ZZZZZ), and the dog having to go out and piddle at 4 am every morning (grrrrr! grrr, GRRRRR, GRRRRRR!), she is only getting an hour of sleep at a time during the night. She desires more, oh, so much more.

She desires sleep aids that work safely and as directed, she desires the baby to adapt to an all night sleeping schedule. She desires so much. She desires the burps and prenatal hiccups to simmer down. She desires clothes to fit properly and she desires deep fried oreo's at 4 in the morning. I take that back and quote her "I DO NOOOOT!) Scowl!

Ode to the child that is coming into our lives. He will be loved and be amazing. Now if I could just give my wife the support she needs while minimizing my snoring at 4am, then we'd be good..... as of this morning , we r not! I'll blame the gardner..... 

Update: we r good, it's just her lack of sleep that is the problem.....

Do the gardeners have to come sooo early? It's not even 10AM yet?

I guess we are lazy and vengeful with our sleep patterns at the new house in Glendale. It's not even 10 am and I'm wide awake listening to the sounds of our gardner inch his way around the house, I'm looking for the lawmower man to round the corner and find that one strange blade of grass that is 10 times too long like 5 days before you realized its growth spurt was similar to bamboo in China. ... (slice), It is also the kind of grass that is between a weed and grass, not one yet not the other. And, no, despite the closures of all the medicinal marijuana shops in LA yesterday, you cannot smoke it. 

 

This is probably the earliest I've been up in the last 4 days. Now I sit, on the couch in the living room, just waiting for the trimmer dude or lawnmower man to round the corner where he can see me, sitting shirtless on the couch starring right back at him through the one window that cannot and will not refuse to be covered by a window shade. It will be a brief but awkward stare. . . I've enjoyed many of these in my lifetime. Many more will come.

I'm sure our gardeners have seen hundreds of naked people sitting or standing sleepily inside the houses, all in various states of 'good morning sunshine' attire, all glaring at the evil that lurks in the sound of handheld machinery gripped by the hired hands all too happy to help our outer abodes look tight, clean and neat. 

 

The sun does not shine out of the butt of our dog. Cloudy weather is in today's forecast.

My wife just appeared in the doorway , heavily pregnant, sleep in her eyes, scowl on her lips complaining that the gardeners are mean and hateful and won't let her sleep, she knows they are intent on cutting down that one long blade of grass set lurking out our bedroom window. 

Only in LA! Coming soon! Gardener stories, the musical! I'm going back to wishing I was still asleep in bed while starring out our window...or I'm going to wish I was a gardner,,,,.. bshaw! if that is really a word.....it fits my morning vocabulary perfectly this morning.

Flashback - San Pedro Sessions - part 01

Pics taken at San Pedro early summer 2010