Ikea Coma part two - the return

I returned to Ikea for the other Billy bookshelf color black/brown. This was a much nicer and quicker experience than the day before. There was no way I was returning to the Ikea of the day before yesterday. Today I had a game plan intact.

I parked in the 15 minute zone for loading of items purchased. I waved yesterdays receipt at the little security guard in the parking lot and pulled up to the bumper, baby, right in front of the main exit doors. My rear seat was still in a reclined and folded position, ready for another bookshelf to be shoved down its gullet. I clicked my auto alarm and entered through the exit doors. Go ME!

I surveyed the 15 rows of people attempting to pay and exit Ikea. I was going upstream, no doubt about it.. The signs said "exit only". I needed to cross this border quickly and efficiently as the "Self help and meditation self service" section of the store was in my sight and less than 40 Ikea yards away, in a straight line, like so close you could smell the pressed laminates waiting on Isle # 1, section 27, 28 and 30. Sniffffff. ahhhhhhh! Sniff and exhale...

An employee passed me moving against traffic, pushing a shopping cart and loading cart back to the self service area. Quick thinking prompted me to grab the nearest empty cart, (I swear it was empty before I took out the ladies purse and 12 boxes of tealights available for $3.99 a hundred, seriously! What kind of Ikea shopper do you think I am? SECURITY! ), then grabbed the really empty shopping cart next to it and pushed forward following the last cart of the Ikea employee all the way through the pay stalls and into the Self help and meditation self service section of the store. The employee in front of me looked back, questioning what I was attempting to do. Maybe it was security asking him to check out the idiot following him, the one who almost stole a ladies purse and tealights  "I needed a cart for something" I stammered back. He yelled a code word in his walkie talkie and left me to my shopping. I'm sure they see a lot of me's in their day. 

30 seconds later, I was loading a Billy Bookshelf onto this cart and wheeling it down the isle back towards checkout. I hung to the left and found one isle with one person in front of me. The lady only had one item to purchase. Go Us! The clerk scanned my Billy bookshelf, I pulled out the prepaid Visa gift card I had so conveniently forgot to use the day before , and, within 5 minutes of entering Ikea, I was leaving it, mission accomplished. 

Bookshelf shoved to curb, my trunk opened and inside went the bookshelf. I slammed my trunk shut and in record fashion, hopped in, cranked the key and sped out of the Ikea parking lot in record time. I swear it was so quick that one lady thought I stole something. She was waiting for her husband to exit and load her SUV. She didn't move the entire 5 minutes from where she was. I entered, bought a bookshelf, paid for it, loaded it and left before her Ikea special Meatball platter had cooled down long enough for her to eat it. 

I am proud of what I accomplished. The game plan worked and I skipped the painful Ikea Coma from the day before. May this article of success help any and all of you wishing to purchase anything from Ikea in the future. Thank you all and have a great day!

Comments

[Debbie Jarvis]

Uhhh, I am sooo lost! But glad that mission was accomplished (I think). But still wondering if you stole the tea lights and the purse...oh, forget it...I'm sure you didnt!