Mourning Anniversaries - Happy Anniversary, I love you

What can we say, in times of loss and mourning, as the anniversaries of loved ones peek over the horizon of the month and begin to daily remind us of those individuals we loved so much in life...... before life took them away. As these anniversaries come closer and closer with each flip of the calendars page, we are reminded more and more of who they were and how much they really meant to us. Brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, close friends and relatives..... each one is remembered in a different light, which is so much stronger once their light has dimmed and begun to fade.

We find ourselves saying, "it was one year ago today that my brother passed away", or "has it really been three years since mom passed on?" It places time into perspective. Our time seems to quicken as the list of those we mourn grows longer and longer. It also becomes more painful. Sometimes it is something to be avoided and denied until it overflows on the morning you wake up, look at the clock and like a tidal wave of sorrow it comes...... "you died today"

The rest of that day is spent in so many different ways. You think of the others whom you have not lost to death, or the great beyond, or the afterlife. You wonder when their time will come. And then memories flood your mind, your heart and your soul. You remember the good times, the bad times, the emotional times and the sorrowful times that you spent with the departed. You remember their quirks and laugh out loud, you remember tears and pain, and cry spontaneously through those past burdens you both shared. You dig out pictures and time finally stands still for awhile as you look at the past, frozen, memories fixed, and you are filled with the knowledge that those moments will never happen again. They are gone. Time has gone as well.

So it comes down to locking yourself away and accepting the loss and pain while praying for some comfort to come. Others visit headstones and find themselves talking to cold stone markers as if the beloved departed was sitting down in front of them, eye to eye, for a private conversation of love, loss and emotions. Others find themselves cramming so many distractions in their day that they hope it ends after midnight Greenwich Standard Time.

They are still gone, yet for some there is a comfort, a calm and a peace that enters their soul, an acceptance that Love knows no bounds, whether in the heavens or here on this earth, and that the love you both shared, lives eternal.........

To you, you are the lucky ones. The rest will still mourn, blame, cry, deny or accept. You find a comfortable embrace in the sorrow, as if they were still holding you and telling you it is ok. After all , this life we live on earth is just a small part of what really exists in this universe. Our human lives are temporary, our souls are eternal......as is love.....

So don't hold back your love for them. Let go of the sorrow and loss and know we are not meant to understand why those whom we've loved the most, are the ones whom we have lost. And for those who are still able to have the ones you love the most in your life, living, breathing and celebrating life, love them with all the love you have every day that you have breath.

For life is a gift given to mortals, love is a gift given to all. Love will still be there as a bond and embrace in what lies beyond. Celebrate life as you have loved it and lived it. For one day, you will see unconditional love pull you through and you will be the one embracing those who have lost you and those who loved you the most. It is the other side of the big picture, in times of loss and mourning, let true love heal and fill the gaps pain leaves behind and create something beautiful that we can embrace eternally, no matter what side of the fence of life we are on.

Happy anniversary, I love you........

author: Daniel Beck